After school time can be one of the best, and most challenging times of the day for both moms and kids. Use these simple ideas to calm the chaos and enjoy your afternoons together!
It’s back-to-school season! Maybe your kids are already back in class, or maybe you’re like me and you can count the summer days you have left on one hand. No matter your schedule, if you have kids in school, you know that the first moments kids get home from school can be…tricky.
Why is the time after school so hard?
School asks A LOT of our kids. They spend most of the day sitting indoors in a highly-structured, overstimulating environment where they’ve had to manage all their emotions and experiences on their own. Yeesh. It’s no wonder then that they sometimes come home tired, hungry, and a *bit* cranky.
The good news is that once we understand why kids sometimes meltdown, we can learn WHAT our kids need, and HOW to give it to them.
What our kids REALLY need after school
Here are the top things kids need after school:
- a simple routine to manage their STUFF
- connection
- food
- time and space to unwind
Alright, that’s the “what.” Now let’s talk about the “how.”
How to make the most of after-school time with kids
1. Prepare yourself
For me, it’s tempting to squeeze every last ounce of productivity into the time that my kids are gone, but I’ve found that taking a few minutes to mentally prepare for after school time makes a big difference. Try setting a timer for 5 or 10 minutes before you’ll see them after school. When it goes off, stop whatever work or chores you’re doing, and take a few minutes to prepare. Take a deep breath, use the bathroom, get some water, prep a simple snack, step outside for some fresh air…whatever will help you relax and switch mental gears so you can be more present with your kids.
2. Have a snack ready to go:
The hangry monster is a real thing at our house. Depending on what time lunch is at school, many kids come home famished. Having a nutritious and tasty snack ready for them when they arrive home can make a big difference in kids’ moods and their ability to handle whatever else needs to be done after school. Sitting down and enjoying a snack together is also a great time to reconnect after a day apart.
Remember, making snacks doesn’t have to be complicated! I’m a big fan of things that can be prepped in five minutes or less…or things that can be prepped in bulk in advance. Here are some of our favorites:
Need more snack ideas? Try these 30 easy and healthy after school snack ideas.
3. Create a simple after school routine
Make a plan for what you want your kids to do each day right when they come home, write out a routine, and post it where everyone can see it. For us, this includes putting shoes away, emptying backpacks and lunch boxes, washing hands, eating a snack, etc. Our routine helps keep us organized, teaches my kids valuable life skills, and creates a tradition of connecting with each other after school. Want to get your own free printable checklist? Click here. If you want a fully customizable version, you can get an editable template in my shop.
4. Ask meaningful questions
After being apart for most of the day, we are anxious to hear what our kids have been up to. We want to know who they played with, what’s going well, how they are struggling…all the things. However, simply asking “How was your day?” doesn’t often yield sasfying responses…at least not from my boys.
If you want to get more details than a half-hearted “fine” from your kids, try some of these after-school questions from Shani at Sunshine and Munchkins. Try asking them in the car right when you pick kids up, while you’re eating your after school snack at home, as dinner conversation starters, or even as part of your bedtime routine.
5. Give kids time and space to unwind
To help kids relieve the stress of the school day, it can be helpful to offer them a simple invitation to play when they get home. This does NOT need to be complicated. In fact, it’s best if it’s not something elaborate or overly structured. They get enough structure at school. All you need to do is pick a simple open-ended activity and set it out for your kids to find when they get home. That’s it! Need some inspiration? Try one of these kid-approved activity ideas:
- Build apple towers
- Play dough (here’s our favorite homemade recipe)
- Kinetic sand
- Lego
- Magnet tiles
- Paper and crayons or coloring pages
If the weather is good, getting outside is a great way to help kids regulate their nervous systems as well. I love to take our snack tray into the backyard, eat, and chat about the day. Sometimes I’ll bring a book to read aloud, or draw with sidewalk chalk, or toss a ball around. Some days they stay outside and play for a long time. Other days, they head back inside after eating. I try to let them decide what they need and honor that for themselves.
A final reminder
Keep in mind that you don’t have to do ALL these things every day. That’s a lot of pressure! Somedays after school might look like throwing granola bars into the backseat of the car as you rush off to soccer or dance or wherever. That’s okay. But on days when you ARE home, these strategies will help your kids handle the transition between school and home, and help you make the most of those precious after school hours. I guarantee there will still be hard days and meltdowns. But there will also be sweet moments of connection and fun.
Best wishes for a fabulous school year!
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